Oh Canada!

We’d like to thank Rob for submitting this Bill Murray Story.

It was a cold, blustery mid Spring morning in Toronto and Mr Bill Murray was strolling down the street. Passers by gawped in awe of the living legend but he didn’t hurry, he didn’t hide, he continued his steady pace, all the way down the street.

Soon he’d gathered a crowd of expectant Canadians, all wondering what momentous event he was headed for and what pearls of wisdom could be gleaned from his confident lips. The crowd moved from hundreds to thousands, attracted by this famous actor in Toronto. Inevitably the press were on the scene, trying to get an interview with the man himself… and still he strode purposefully all the way down the street.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Murray arrived at the Humber River. He could not proceed and there are some who say that not even the venerable Ghostbuster can disrupt the fabric of nature. In a momentous and swift gesture, he loosened his belt and dropped his trousers. He then pissed in the river.

When he was finished he turned to the nearest camera, gave his trademark smile and said “No one will ever believe you”. On that he turned on his heels and walked the way he came and to this day, despite the video evidence, no one does believe it.

2 thoughts on “Oh Canada!

  1. I’m new to the site, so I’m not sure if this place is meant for 100% truth or if it permits the occasional fib — but when you write a story like this, it sounds just like that, written. ‘Despite the video evidence’? I feel like a quick google search for ‘Bill Murray pisses in a river’ (which I did) would direct me straight to a story written by another of the alleged ‘hundreds’ who had been there (which it didn’t), but it seems it just let me straight back here.

    The rest of the stories on this sound plausible, and I’d like to believe them to be true. Maybe this happened, maybe it didn’t, but lesser people have been put in the newspaper for doing less (yes, less than pissing in a river), so I would imagine a situation like this to be more widely covered than it seems to have been.

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