We would like to thank Kenn for his Bill Murray Story. Thank you!
So the other night, my buddies and I decide to celebrate at the campus bar, The Gate, as we had just completed a rather tedious technical document of just over 200 pages. After a few drinks my body tells me that I need to seek some porcelain so I head to the washroom.
Now, earlier in the day, as I was walking to get a coffee, I heard some girls talking about someone actor being on campus for something or other. The hall was crowded and I was walking in pace so I couldn’t really slow down to hear it all, even though I was slightly interested. Then I thought, who cares, really? I figured it couldn’t be anyone too interesting anyway, not here in Calgary at my school. Probably some failed actor, I thought, or Dane Cook.
So it was to my tongue-tied surprise that Bill Murray was the only other person in the bathroom, and he leaning over the counter popping a zit! I wanted to acknowledge him and tell him I admired his career. I even thought it might be a funny opener to compliment his technique on the popping of the zit. Then I thought it would just annoy him or something, like he needs to hear such a simple joke.
The bathroom is small and there are only two urinals in it. I am so shocked and baffled by what I am seeing, that after about 4 seconds of standing and taking in the fact that I just walked in on a zit popping session by Bill freakin’ Murray, I snap back in and just walk with my head down to the urinal closest to me and start my business.
As if he could sense my uneasiness, he immediately stops, or completes, popping his zit and starts going pee right next to me. I’m just keeping my head down trying to act cool, when suddenly I see a stream of pee cross over mine! I looked up at him and his face was completely stoic. I remarked, with some excitement over the irony of what I was now allowed to say, “We just crossed streams, mister Bill Murray.”
He never ever broke his stoic look once. Then he stopped peeing as if he were hiding a valve. He simply whispered, “no one will ever believe you“. Then he resumed peeing in his urinal as quickly as he stopped.
I stood there feeling mixed feelings as he left without washing his hands. One side of me thinks that that is the best story I will ever have. The other side of me is kind of pissed that Bill Murray pissed on my shoe a bit for a joke I am not even sure he saw the irony in.