The following story is from Trey. Thanks!
A lot of weird things happen to me in my life. I’ve been held at gunpoint by an old woman, gotten my car totaled by a cow, and have been robbed in a Taco Bell drive-thru.
So, I decided to start documenting everything that happens to me to prove it as factual. I constantly have a tape recorder on and in my pocket at all times during the day.
It’s just like any other day, except news is spreading around my college campus (at 11:30pm, mind you) that heartthrob Ryan Gosling is at a local cafe just down the street. About fifteen other students and I rush down to the cafe in hopes of meeting the hunk and maybe snapping a picture.
We are scoping out the cafe and can’t find him, so we look outside. I’m checking the patio behind the building when suddenly, from behind me, I hear someone in a deep burly voice ask “Hey, have you heard that Ryan Gosling was here?”
I whip around and guess who it was? It’s Bill Fucking Murray. I’m speechless. I manage to say, “Can’t find him” in a high-pitched voice like a twelve year old girl. He says, “Aw shucks, that stinks. Oh well!” and starts to walk into the surrounding neighborhood behind us.
Right as he’s walking out of my sight he turns around, pulls my tape recorder out of my pocket, whispers something into it, and hands it back to me. Then he disappears into the night.
I’m stunned. I look around for my friends and can’t find them. I check my tape recorder, happy that I can prove something that has happened to me. I listen, and all I find, in a whisper, is “No one will ever believe you”.