The Red Arrow Incident

We’d like to thank Justin Gish for the following story.

red arrow highway signI was driving up Red Arrow Highway, on my way to the Stray Dog Bar and Grill, when a silver Beetle came up fast behind me. The car followed me close for a mile, so I sped up, cursing the bastard who would tailgate me on a two-lane highway. As my speed increased, the Beetle fell back, so my anger ebbed as I pulled into town and idled at a stoplight. But as I waited for permission to turn left, that damn Beetle pulled up beside me and I got worked up again.

I wanted to get a look at the cat who got my blood pressure up a few miles back and boy was I surprised when the driver turned out to be Bill Murray. I no longer wanted to tell him what I thought of his driving; I was sure he didn’t mean anything by it. But, seeing as it was Bill Murray, I had to say something.

silver vw beetleHis window was down, so I rolled mine down as well and leaned across my empty passenger seat. He was still looking dead ahead, not even a glance in my direction, so I yelled “FORE!” and he dropped like a prairie dog about to be leveled by a Jeep. After he popped back up, he looked my way and I told him that The Razor’s Edge was my favorite movie. He just smiled, shook his head, and said, “Nobody will ever believe you.”

Not Another “I saw Bill Murray riding a bike in a Wal-Mart” Story

Editor: Today’s Bill Murray Story is from Jake. Thanks!

It wasn’t a surprise to me or anyone else that we would see Bill Murray around in Southfield, Michigan in October 2006. He was scheduled to talk at a college there for some film students. What surprised me and my best friend was when we saw him riding a children’s bicycle inside of a Wal-Mart.

I thought that maybe the store had hired an impersonator to cash in on the local publicity but when I got closer to him, I knew that this was the real Bill Murray. I was surprised to see him, and, had he been dressed in normal clothing, this would have been a normal “I saw Bill Murray riding a bike in a Wal-Mart” story. But, the fact that he was wearing an obviously heavily used firefighter’s uniform, complete with oxygen tank, made the moment a little too surreal for my tastes.

As my mind was attempting to comprehend what I was witnessing, he shouted at me, “YOU ARE ON FIRE!” and started to pedal slowly and laboriously towards me all the while yelling “WOOOO WOOOO WOOOO!” I looked around to make sure he was yelling at me and locked eyes with my friend standing next to me, who was staring back with an astonished grin of disbelief. Like someone whose best friend had just won the lottery.

When Bill pulled up to me, he pulled a small water gun out of his pocket and sprayed me once in the face. Then he got off his bike, dropped all of his gear on the floor, and said, “My work is done, but yours is just beginning. Spread word of this good deed to inspire others, but be warned: no one will ever believe you.”